A field guide to doing one thing at a time, badly

I sat down to write a short story. I decided to write it on the typewriter so that I wouldn't be distracted by my computer, but first I put a Post-it note on the typewriter that said, "ONLY ONE THING AT A TIME."

What follows was an exhausting 45 minutes of holding my breath to avoid breathing, not blinking, not thinking, and trying to write on a typewriter before I ran out of air or my brain kicked on again.

I never could think of anything to write about without thinking. Eventually I passed out. When I came to, I threw my typewriter and Post-it notes away.

The moral of the story? Always do more than one thing at a time unless you are bacteria.